riverdaleparkette

2006-01-23T01:08:00.000-05:00

So the riverdaleparkette comes here for the first time in forever only to receive an assault about logging in. It's not my fault I rebooted for fun's sake for the first time in six months. It's not my fault that I can actually remember my password the third time around.

I'm posting today to inform my vast readership that soon there shall be a new post... about life here in the best town in the United States.

That's right, a post about a nationally politically important subject, right here, on this bjournal, in the very near future. By "very near" I intend to convey the meaning, "within the next two weeks." While that may not seem like it fits the colloquial definition of the "very near future," the riverdaleparkette deserves that kind of leeway that such a phrase at times elicits from the blogosphere. "Very near" in terms of what? Ancient Greece?" Dinosaurs? The last time a synapse fired successfully?

Through all this I hope my sense of self-importance is being transmitted clearly. My prose, on the other hand, is permitted to be as dense and without meaning as it pleases. Yet not in that vein, I hope that this talked-up post lives up to the riverdaleparkette's expectations, let alone that of the reading public.

Wow. That is what I call suspense. I can barely wait to see what the hell I'm talking about.

2005-11-18T21:29:00.000-05:00

After a last fling with summertime weather (during which the citizens of Riverdale Park ran naked through the town center), Riverdaliens are spending more time engendering cabin fever amongst their families. Nothing like 30 degree temperatures to bring a family together. Someone check in on the riverdaleparkette if she posts an entry like "All blog and no whiskey makes a bjournalist lick the floor." Thanks.

There's not much to do in wintertime except to plan on what to do when it's warm again. You're so stuck in the now that the future is the only thing pulling you across. I think the riverdaleparkette will do some planning on bjournal entries that will take her months actually to get around to.

So while I'm sitting here ~~procrast~~in languid coziness by the fireplace, I suggest you check out two other bjournals by my neighbors:

The Riverdale Oberserver - Written by perhaps the most critical political thinker in Ward 1, yet alone the town, I can forgive this blog for the lack of "Park" for its abundance of repect for classical thinkers. (I keep rereading that sentence. It's got great rhythm.)

The Green Dragon Inn - Similar to the above in tone, this bjounal contains some of the best writing in Ward 1, yet alone the town. At times it seems the bjournalist is stuck in the 19th century, but, hey, that's cool. I can dig. Word booty, castironskillet.

This is the part where I don't point out the obvious similarity between the two blogs.

2005-10-07T23:11:00.000-05:00

The riverdaleparkette has news! News only known by five other Riverdaleans, excluding the one typing this, of course.

RIVERDALE PARK, Md. - The best blogger in the known universe, riverdaleparkette, has fractured dextermetatarsal number five. [ed. note: that's the bone leading to the pinkie toe on the right foot.]

She should be remembered for her bravery in the action that led to the injury.

On Thursday, October 6, the riverdaleparkette was assigned to "Operation Icarus" and her role in the mission was to run as fast as she could from the edge of her driveway to the end of her property line. Although it was dangerous, she felt she was up to the task. As the events unfolded, however, she would come to regret her decision.

It was with a slight hop that she put her right foot forward. Three steps into it and she was down, but not before sliding about five feet on the sidewalk.

Her foot is not in a cast, but splinted. The riverdaleparkette requires the aid of crutches and "gofers" during the time her bone heals.

Also a casulty in this mission was her left knee, which sustained an abrasion.

Her favorite pair of pants remain in critical condition; if a patch cannot be found in time they might never recover.

2005-09-25T21:29:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'll level with you, folks...

The riverdaleparkette tends to go into hiding when she has way too much to be writing about, and isn't sure what belongs out there on port 80. That's right, I said port 80. Geekiness is one of the riverdaleparkette's secret powers. Now you know.

At any rate, I suppose there's tons to discuss.

The corner of Route 1 and East West Highway (alternately called "Berlin 1945," "The Field of Rubble," or as I like to refer to it, "Why those developers be hatin' on my 'hood?") has been improved drastically with the installation of a transparent green thing over/under/around the chain link fence. I liked the idea posted to a town discussion list about converting the lot to a greensward, erecting a fountain with a statue of the riverdaleparkette. Megalomania is another of my secret powers.

The fence covering appeared the day after the September town meeting wherein Tony Caputo, the developer who owns the property, came to understand the exact degree to which the Riverdale Park citizens loathe having an ugly gateway to the town. We might as well have played dodgeball in the school gym across the street, Riverdaleans on one side, developer on the other. Particularly amusing was a certain A.T. who said that some of our hostility stemmed from having been "Jemalled" for quite some time over the town center. I've been using the phrase since the meeting in my everyday life, in such instances as, "Man, traffic is really Jemalled on the beltway today."

Riverdale Day is this coming Saturday, October 1, on the grounds of the Riversdale Mansion on Riverdale Road. Perhaps on that day I will employ my other secret powers of running around like a spaz and saying inappropriate things too loudly. Be sure to say hi!

2005-08-17T14:23:00.000-05:00

Lots of famous people live in Riverdale Park. Back in the early 19th century these lands were the retreat for the folks who created this country. In fact, all the early residents of the town were paparazzi working for such tabloids as Poor Robert's Enquiries and Illustrations, Etchings, and Engravings of the Leisure Class. My attic is chock full of those rags, and by sharing that fact you know I am not making up this story. Verisimilitude, baby.

Among our celebrity community is Jim Landry whose photobjournal was linked on instapundit in February. For those of you not familiar with e-celebrity that's some serious press. It's like being featured in the Washington Times. I will freely admit I'm jealous, and begrudgingly admit it is an okay bjournal. Then again, I suppose it would be a pyhrric promotion for me to get a shoutout from instapundit, being as how it's conservative blog.

Alice Ewan Walker was once on NPR. That's huge. NPR is the thinking man's Howard Stern Show, and Howard Stern is famous, too. When I think of Alice I am reminded of her confronting our county councilperson who just "happened" to be in the neighborhood. He "happened" to come into the bookshop the night of a political fundraiser for the current mayor. Watching the scene, I imagined she would at any moment grab his tie and get in his face, gritting her teeth saying, "What about the trees, you political scum?" Alas, she was only adamant and well spoken.

Come to think of it, my definition of "famous" might be a bit erudite. To make up for that, here's my current favorite joke:

Q: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

A: Dung.

I'm sure there are many more secret celebrities in this town. Please send tips and compromising photos my way.

2005-08-15T23:36:00.000-05:00

The riverdaleparkette is allowed to post again now that her period of mourning for the bookshop is through. Or maybe she was in a Tiajuana jail for two weeks. Her attorneys advise her to neither confirm nor deny any rumors concerning that period of time. Especially rumors about an underground gerbil-fighting ring.

And now, live from the bjournalverse, a plug and review of a the new bjournal:

The Riverdale Park Reader - Inspired by my sassiness, Audrey started a blog. This is ironic, because Audrey's sassiness inspires me. We are the Riverdale Park perpetual motion machine of sassiness. Unfortunately, the existance of this blog means that my secret dream of running a gossip column is thwarted, because she hears the good stuff before I do. The item about local artist Gerald King showing up at her door on a Sunday morning with his old Bookshop coffee mug is quite a juicy tidbit. Louella Parsons eat your heart out.

2005-08-01T12:49:00.000-05:00

The ever optimistic riverdaleparkette lately wallows in despair. Friday, July 29, was the final day for the Riverdale Used Bookshop and Coffee Depot. Altruism and integrity kept its doors open in 1994; greed and vindictiveness boarded its doors shut in 2005.

The Washington Post wrote an article, and Alan penned a fond farewell.

The bookshop was a huge part of my life, and the words to describe the closing aren't coming as easily as the tears... but I'll do my best to give those who don't know an idea of the place.

Audrey and Simon have done nothing but give to the community with that establishment. Among their benevolence:

Good Coffee at a Good Price in Downtown Riverdale Park - The coffee came in each week roasted just a day prior to arriving. You think that mermaid-adorned coffee place is good? Well, you never had one of Simon's lattes. I loved the house coffee, as well as the "power shake," a blended concoction of espresso, ice cream, and ice.

A Meeting Place for Ideas - Meetings that led to the citizens repealing the sale of the Field of Dreams as well as many other political movements took place mainly at the Riverdale Bookshop. Coffee Shops have historically been regarded as meeting places of political dissidents, and the bookshop was Riverdale Park's own "Green Dragon." Politics aside, I was personally privvy to numerous intellectual conversations that broadened the perspectives of everyone who participated.

Music Junction - A free weekly night of music. The hat was passed to pay the musicians, and many folks who wouldn't get a chance to be in front of a friendly, receptive audience got the chance to play their songs.

The Festival of Lights - At Christmas time, Audrey put together a trolley ride through the town ending with a visit to Santa at the Train Station. It was a great way to spread some holiday cheer to your neighbors.

Neighbors Helping Neighbors - While this wasn't limited to the bookshop, the idea was definitely supported by it. Audrey coordinated a way for citizens to support their neighbors in need with either time or money, and sometimes both.

The above list is just the start of the ways Audrey and Simon invested their souls into both the bookshop and this town.

When I walk by the charming building, it hurts me to see the place so thoroughly empty, but at least Audrey took her kick-ass sink.

2005-07-28T15:53:00.000-05:00

Debunking the Gazette's Police Blotter...

Here is a map of the incorporated town of Riverdale Park. That carjacking on the 6700 Block of Riverdale Road? Not in the incorporated town. That's east of the BW parkway. Riverdale Park ends just east of Kenilworth Ave. The BW parkway is way further east than where Riverdale Park ends. Therefore, this crime did not occur within town boundries. Comprende?

I don't see much that happened in the actual Riverdale Park on this blotter page. I will give my dear readers a thorough analysis at a later time, maybe after I finish my Thursday Afternoon Gazette Bourbon^TM.

2005-07-28T15:10:00.000-05:00

It's Thursday! Do you know what that means? It likely means that you stumbled over a plastic wrapped tabloid as you walked out your house to work this morning. That plastic wrapped tabloid is The Gazette. There are many demeaning adjectives I could use to describe this weekly paper, but instead I'll gleefully flip through it because there's a ton of stuff for material for me in there.

No mention of Riverdale Park until the Community Calendar on page A-4, where the Thursday Farmer's Market is mentioned twice. No report of the two days of dark on Queensbury. That's why I'm here to bring you the news, folks.

Riverdale Park is next seen on page A-7, on the Police Blotter. Here we have fodder for a post all its own....

2005-07-28T02:39:00.000-05:00

Compared to this evening, what I called chaos in my last post was the bathroom routine of an obsessive-compulsive hypochondriac. Tonight all of Riverdale Park was immersed in total darkness. It made for a dank sweaty armpit of a Wednesday evening, but like an armpit, hairs of excitement did their best to escape the razorblade of banality.

6:42 pm - The power goes out due to the brief high winds of a thunderstorm. The citizens of Riverdale Park collectively fan themselves and start saying, "Fiddle dee dee."

7:46 pm - The mediocre thunder and wimpy lighning are done. Dogs feeling sheepish emerge from under their masters' and mistresses' beds.

9:21 pm - Your favorite bjournalist ventures out into in the darkness to evaluate the state of the town. Full report of the pandemonium follows this section.

9:28 pm - Riverdaleparkette heads into the land of rail drink specials and sticky floors, College Park, to procure a mechanical alarm clock.

9:35 pm - The lights at Taylor Road and East West, and the lights at Queensbury and Route 1 appear to be the only two affected by the storm. Perhaps not surprisingly, traffic at these intersections runs more smoothly than it ever has before.

11:55 pm - The power east of the Rhode Island Ave is restored. Citizens put down their fans and kiss the air conditioner vents.

12:25 pm - The power west of Rhode Island Ave is restored. Citizens put their corsets back on. Also, they drink some whiskey.

Among the tumultuous state of affairs in Riverdale Park...

1. A car heading east on Queensbury Road turned right on to the railroad tracks and if that weren't enough, THERE WAS A TRAIN COMING. While that was sure to be entertaining, this bjournalist moved on.

2. The 4900 block of Queensbury was marked off with yellow tape. No trees appeared to be down. Curious.

3. Dumm's Corner was closed.

4. This bjournalist discovered (3) when she made a U-turn at Riverdale Elementary to drive back west to ogle the person who tried to drive down the train tracks in a Camry. By that time, there were three police cars pulled across the tracks directing people to other routes, and a tow truck was coming across the parking lot. On the whole, a pretty undramatic scene.

If anyone has any other stories to share, or anything else you want to email me, please feel free to do so at riverdaleparkette@gmail.com.

2005-07-24T23:27:00.000-05:00

It's dark tonight on Queensbury Road. No streetlights for the second night in a row. I've been rioting and looting my fridge all day long. It's utter chaos I tell you. Insanity abounds. And it's dark.

The google map link above is specifically to the address of Geppetto Catering, which I suspect, without ever having tried their wares, is the best caterering company ever located on Queensbury Road. For real.

2005-07-23T19:01:00.000-05:00

Here we are, a seemingly lovely Saturday in the red-headed stepchild of southwestern Prince George's County. You gotta love these Maryland summers where a mere 90 degrees is a reprieve from the humid suffocation.

I suppose the fours of you are wondering what this bjournal is all about. Well, Riverdale Park is a sweet small-town-within-the-beltway that doesn't receive anywhere near the love it deserves. Riverdale Park is just as exciting as the capital of the free world found just a few miles south, and deserves it's own hard-drinking, wryly commentating commentator for its exploits.

I expect to discuss thoroughly the lighter side of this town, and with this first post I point you to two of the better bjournals (I prefer the term to weblog/blog) concerning this town:

Riverdale Park Politics - This bjournal is so awesome you will wish it were updated more often. In my opinion the blog could be... well, more opinionated. I like my politics with a dash of subjectivity, thank you.

Riverdale Park Ward 2 - This site has what RPP does not: frequent updates and subtle side-taking. This is both awesome and irritating. I enjoy the "Best [blank] in Riverdale Park" feature.